Thursday, April 8, 2010

Dopey soapy ruckus.

Posted by Komal RK at 12:35 AM 0 comments
A piece of news that was being followed religiously, much more than the incomprehensibly twisted daily-soaps, much more than the serious issue of the Indians facing a death sentence in the Middle East, a real life pukka Bollywood style story that managed to retain the top spot and hold the undying interest of a billion people even when over 70 members of the Central Reserve Police Force were massacred by the Maoists in Chhatisgarh and more importantly shifting the entire country’s focus from the ongoing IPL to this highly entertaining affair, please note that  stealing IPL’s thunder is no joke! What was everyone hooked onto the last couple of days was not a human greatness-earth saving- discovery, nor any breakthrough in hunting down aliens (like living beings on earth weren’t enough), no it wasn’t anything to do with Daulat-ki-beti Mayawati either!  A simple issue of marriage, yup just that. The blunders of youth, rash decisions, making statements, contradicting them, contradicting the contradictions earlier made, sheer stupidity, constant obstinate denials et all. Such drama!! Lord have mercy!

So Shoiab Malik decided to get married and then denied ever doing such a thing, addressing his wife as ‘elder-sister’ once, ‘aunt’ another time, all for his LOVE Sania Mirza to whom he is scheduled to get married this 15th.  If the wife Ayesha Siddiqui is to be believed he wanted to do away with her because of her weight. Hmmm as silly as it may sound it is plausible, totally believable. This followed by a very foolish thing to do was Mr.Mindless Malik denying the fact completely. And thence started the accusations and allegations from both the sides, “he married my daughter” , “this is a cheap publicity stunt”, “he’s a liar, I have all evidences”, “Sania will be my first wife”, “I have been cheated”, “I have been cheated”, both claiming they are the victims.

Drama at its best! The bride to be appearing on her balcony along with the tainted groom to be, the atmosphere appearing tense.  As the nation waited impatiently for any further development, people even betting on the outcome, the very evening you see all across the news channels  both Mindless Malik and Stupefied Sania waltzing (I think that was what they were trying to do in any case) romantically in her house, ‘preparing for the wedding’. What a disappointment to all those who seemed to have a dislike for the Paki they thought was undeserving of a wife as Sania (NO COMMENTS! REALLY!).

What followed was evident, a case was filed against Mindless Malik by the Siddiquis, one of the sections (498A) being a non-bailable offence. T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!!!! Passport seized! Paki govt. coming into the picture pledging their support to their citizen (why a nation has to interfere with a marital issue is beyond me, also that he was the same citizen who was snubbed by the country is a thing of the past apparently). Now Mindless Malik claims he did marry a girl (thank heavens he admits it was a GIRL) but not the one who is claiming to be his wife. Another twist! She isn’t the girl whose pictures were sent to him and he got married over the phone!! This just keeps getting more entertaining or what!! And so in reply to this, the Siddiquis produce pictures of the “WIFE” and Malik together. Yada yada blaah blaah and more BLAAH! Phew…  With the high profile wedding of an Indian tennis sensation (????), with all the efforts of denial hitting back making Malik sort of a dartboard, with legal difficulties and a probable visit to the Indian Jail which didn’t seem to be a good place to go for one’s honeymoon, Mindless Malik has done the first ever sensible thing. Admit every allegation made, and sign the divorce papers, something that was all the Siddiqui’s were asking in the first place.

What were you thinking all this while Moronic Malik???!!!! That they wanted you to be sent to a one man expedition to the Bermuda Triangle???

And so the case is withdrawn, the wedding is to take place as per schedule.

What a shocker to all those who have been hoping to get so much more from this highly enthralling drama. Really??? We don’t get to see the full-on aggressive Sania with a slightly deranged look about her declaring her undying love and support to the guy she has stood by amidst all his lies? Don’t we get to see Ayesha whacking Malik on the face (using her full power to do so mind you!) and hurling at him the foulest, filthiest abuses ever? Don’t we get to see Malik struggling to form a simple sentence and take eons to try making it intelligible?

Well turns out we don’t. If the sneaking rat had solved the issue with a little more maturity and sensibility this would have never come about and he still could’ve faced the masses with some traces of dignity. But apparently he needed a baap of all controversies, allegations, accusations, evidences, and a fiancĂ© better articulate than him (not considering the fake accent), a legal suit , an inviting jail cell, and constant media glare and a gazillion hate mails, all this and much more to come to his senses.

So now the country can go back to its normal routine. Wives back to their daily soaps, everyone else back to cribbing about the Summer heat, bookies concentrating on IPL et all, you get the picture.


Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Long weekend at Lonavala..comical really!

Posted by Komal RK at 10:42 PM 0 comments
Well it isn’t like I’ve been having a really hectic and tiring schedule to actually feel the need of a weekend getaway, quite the opposite really. But when you have parents who insist on the “family trip” funda, with a nice spell of the choicest senti emotional dialogues ever , then there’s little you can do. And so we leave for Lonavala. Yes yes “but whyLonavala?” right, got a lot of that, so here’s one thing you should always keep in mind, plan things well in advance else the only thing every nice place will offer you is a “no vacancy” and you will end up in a place with few takers.

Essentially a holiday for my lovely mother (who made sure she pointed out that even though she had stayed in Pune for 3 yrs Dad darling had never taken her to Lonavala), my sis and I managed to while away time (People who say music isn’t important are WRONG! It saved me from boredom!!). It took us no longer than 3 hours to cover the whole town. The place would be perfect during the monsoon, the view all around pretty pretty. Real good for people who indeed have a tiring time and need to get away for a while.  As for us, we somehow survived for there was something every girl finds life-saving… SHOPPING… And then having friends come down to meet you just does it. It’s a different thing altogether that they find the fact that we’ve travelled all the way from Hyderabad to Lonavala highly amusing , something they cannot possibly comprehend ( unlike you we don’t stay in Mumbai silly people..duuhh!!). And so we become the butt of all their jokes, in short a very louuuuly time. And so we’re back from this utterly funny trip in a way, bags loaded with every kind of chikki and fudges.

Stomach full khushh.. parents  khushhh.. toh hum bhi khushhhh!! :)

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