Sit with me

Their incessant chatter and laughter made the clamorous platform a lot more noisy. Passers-by rightly guessed they were students. Young 16 year olds, off for a college vacation..yes..there was no doubt about that given the enthusiasm and excitement their laughter and merry talk was exuding.

It wasn’t infectious though. She wished it was. Standing a little away from the group, she looked at them with a feeling she couldn’t quite describe…these were her college mates, familiar faces, yet….
yet none was her friend. She admitted it. This was clearly a mistake. She regretted her decision. How could she be a part of it when she clearly wasn’t one of them? She tried in vain to find that initial eagerness she had.

She tried to tell herself she would make new friends. *sigh* No.

No she wouldn’t. She never could. She was the life and soul of a party, she was the centre of all things fun with her friends. But…she was bad at making new friends. Shy. Silly. True. She was but 16. Still. She told herself she’d enjoy the place. I doubt it said a voice inside her. She needed company. Her friends had bailed out. Alone. She looked at them again. Apparently she was invisible.*sigh* They were clicking pictures, their vacation had begun. Fun.

She felt alien. The other girl was voicing her exact thoughts. Prattling away about how she regrets not staying back. Shut up already! Damage done. Now she wistfully thought of the her friends, the cute guy she had a crush on forever, they had planned for the holidays together, they still would carry on with it. Without her. She was off on a vacation. With strangers. She wanted to cry.

There’s the signal. They get in. Too late.. too late…she thought. Bade goodbye to her parents, completely ignorant of the uneasiness she was feeling. Smile. For them. Wave. A little more enthusiastically. Turn. Pretence not needed now. Her shoulders drop. *sigh*. She walks along the long corridor to get to her compartment. Empty, save the ranting girl. *sigh* She sits next to the window. Great start she thought bitterly. The others have all disregarded the instructions given and were all assembled in one compartment, having a ball.

Lonely. No… it will be good. It won’t.

It was all crashing down. Every effort to look cheerful. This was a vacation! She should be thrilled. Then why was she so upset? She felt like now she could cry… or was she already? No. No she wouldn’t. Distraction. She looked outside the window. Stare out at the passing fields. Kids waving. Yes. Distraction. She shouldn’t be miserable. No she wasn’t. This was a vacation. Smile. Smile. Be happy. She wasn’t! Why wasn’t she? She couldn’t. Upset. Forlorn. She hated that very instant the fact that she was incredibly shy. She didn’t want to be. She didn’t have to be. But she was. Silly. Making new friends was daunting? No. Still. Getting past a few minutes seemed laborious! She had the entire week ahead. Depressing. She wished she was not on this train. She could now hear them sing. Stupid. Stupid me, she thought to herself for the millionth time that evening. She closed her eyes. Feeling the wind on her face as the train picked up speed, chugging along noisily. The sounds unsuccessful in drowning the singing. She tried to also block out the rants of the other girl now painfully describing what might’ve been. A smack on the face with her heavy bag would shut her up, she thought. She smiled at that picture. She sighed. She heard someone rush past her compartment giggling. She returned to concentrating on the rhythm of the train. Giggling. Block it out. It was getting closer, they would pass by again. Eyes still closed. Concentrate. Calm. Why aren’t they giggling their way back?

‘Hey!’ ..she opened her eyes. A curly haired girl from the group had stopped right in the middle of the compartment, smiling. A subdued hi was all she got in reply. ‘Why are you sitting here all alone?’. She too seemed to ignore the irritating girl who thankfully was quiet now. “Well I don’t really know anyone that well’’. Apparently it was amusing. The bubbly excited girl without a moments hesitation smiled the warmest smile ever. “Arre..that’s no problem yaar..come sit with me!!!”

:)

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A royal engagement

Her father a businessman, formerly a flight dispatcher for British Airways, her mother a former stewardess in the same and she from a normal middleclass family, a commoner, Catherine Middleton.


His father, the Prince of Wales, is first in the line of succession to the thrones of 16 independent states, his late mother the most beloved Princess, his Grandmother the reigning Queen, and he a Royal Prince, known as His Royal Highness Prince William, the Prince of Wales.

The two had met while studying at the same university; what started as a college romance has survived the long years and now finally has taken form of an engagement and what we have is a Royal Wedding to look forward to. A true fairytale of sorts where a commoner (though a wealthy one) and a Prince fall in love, are college sweethearts; face the many problems that being a Royal and being associated with a Royal automatically trigger, the constant media glare and the various speculations. We have a break-up due to all these factors and more but we also have a reconciliation. And then the big happy announcement, that the Prince has finally asked the question which is answered in the affirmative, and as we all know there’s always a ring to seal the deal there was one here too. It was not just another ring but the very ring worn by the late Princess Diana, the Prince’s late mother, on her engagement, that was used to seal the 8 year long romance; a gorgeous blue sapphire surrounded by a cluster of diamond! *swoooonnsss* Sounds like straight from a fairytale book doesn’t it, like the one’s we used to read and fantasize about, well good to know that someone out there is living it for real!


One happy event that 2011 will bring is assured, as this will be the biggest Royal wedding since Prince Charles had married Lady Diana almost 30 years ago. Kate Middleton’s fairytale turned true with her handsome prince popping the question; aah well your story will be told over and over again for a long time now about how reality just got a touch of royal magic. And to the rest of the female population watching their most beloved and precious Prince being taken for real, let’s just wish for each one’s Prince to turn up and real quick too!


Till then, here’s to “happily ever after”.. Cheers!

Alone

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

- Edgar Allan Poe

Another favourite of mine, this poem speaks of sorrow, rejection, the feeling of being marked an outcast,  but also of courage, of the truth that beauty is still prevalent and there's much more to an individual than what meets the eye. Different people have a different way of interpreting this poem of Poe, which was a clear reflection of what he had gone through. A troubled childhood, being a 'misfit', reaching out to hope and happiness but constantly being surrounded by a 'demon'.

There are times when you know the world is not entirely a bad place,  you see, you feel, you know that there is hope, but then there is always some reason to feel not good enough. There's always something negating it. You always find something that stops you from experiencing for yourself the happiness that surrounds you, and you are all but trapped by this constant demon taking various forms at every turn of the road. The knowing that it's just better to be alone than to have others subjected to your  misery..and have them abandon you eventually anyway.

This poem is about existing on a different wavelength, and loneliness as the consequence. But then again being different doesn't necessarily mean being depressed always. For there is still that one force that binds us all.  Instead of giving way to the external influence, holding on to your beliefs and passions. It's also about finding inspiration. Being proud and finding beauty. Truly being able to see everything for what it is. Changing your perspective. Also being mindful, whether you're on the path of light or dark, keeping sure that it is YOUR path that you choose. Being mindful because you may never find someone like you that you can compare your life to. You can never know for sure if your actions and feelings are good or bad for that reason, you can only question yourself and move on.

Be alone. Be yourself. Have no regrets.