The Art of Subtle Deceit

This post is to celebrate the twisted tongue of the story teller in all its glory. I've come to learn that words are powerful, more effective than the action being described through them or the reason and purport of it. That's forgotten or more accurately veiled and hence successfully manipulated into being something totally different altogether by the very words that plant them in your vision. You might see the thing/event/situation that is being described and yet you're not. What you see is what you hear, what you're being told about that situation/event/person etc which can be far from the truth. How best to convey this lies in the hands of the one with the words, the artful narrator.

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I have had the good fortune of coming across some very talented specimen in this particular area. They convey the message alright but through their well practiced art of deceiving, the truth is overshadowed and what we take in are those very cleverly used words and tones spewing from these misleading mouths. I bow down to them, these great gurus of slyness and  trickery, these experts of craftiness. Entangled in the web of truthful lies are their friends, acquaintances and enemies alike; and almost always these masters of manipulation come out unscathed. I envy the confidence these confusion creators have, to look friends in the eye and lie, laugh and claim to love. Their convincing powers are not to be undermined, for that's how they have their entire world wrapped around their fingers, almost always.

I say almost, for time and a certain chain of events shed light on their shady undercover operations and unravel the layers of pretences, to finally reveal the person beneath, the real deal. It's like seeing your favourite celebrity sans make-up (do a double-take to reconfirm it's them?). The rest of the world is still enticed, ever hungry for the 'entertaining' lies being fed to them, lapping onto every word with the faith of the greatest believer, drowning in the depths of the falsity and falling forever in the endless abyss of the constructed perception. Don't mistake these deceiving doyens for the misinformed and their misinformation for any mistaken false witness. They very well know things as and how they are, they're just interested in making the world believe their version of it (with the halo shining on their head, the sun rising behind them, sprouting angel wings etc., get the picture?) A word here, a sentence there and their job's done. The seeds of confusions, doubts are planted that then lead to belief. Our mind works on the information laced with their opinions. And ta-da, thus forms our decided opinion...a horribly skewed perception of reality.

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Kudos to people who go through every day of their lives living a lie and convincing others of the same. Cheers to being shrewd and cunning in the most pleasing manner. Know that for some unfortunate few, your game's up and now they see through you, but rejoice, we appreciate your utter disregard for human sensibility and our intelligence, your antics slowly but surely provide us with a lot of entertainment. I enjoy being lied to when I know, inside my head I'm laughing my guts out at your sheer incompetence to stick to the truth. And I'll let you in on a secret, I'm guilty in most cases of egging you on. Oh how I enjoy it, two can play this game plus I'm always curious to the lengths that you go to sound interesting, convincing or whatever your motive is. It's highly amusing to see how wild your imagination runs. You remind me of the naked king who strut around his kingdom with an unmatched pride and conceit due to his 'magnificent clothes'. In your case, if not the whole city, a few sure as hell know a nonexistent cloth when they see your royal highness' precious bits a tad bit clearly and FYI we don't like being mooned.

You remain who you are, a person with a thousand affectations.

AN: Images via Google Images

End of An Era

It finally came to an end. All the relatives had gone back to the familiar routines at their respective homes, all the friends had gone back, albeit a bit grudgingly, to the different cities they'd flown down from. The house was filled with flowers and an alarming amount of sweets, a bit too much for its 3 inhabitants. The years of waiting, the months of preparations, the countless arguments over the seemingly trifle details had all paid off.

After finishing the pending works, Mom, Dad and I sat down in the living room. It was eerily quiet after a fortnight of non-stop activity; it seemed off somehow. Exhaustion was finally catching up and my parents resigned to rest, for a week as I would find out later. And I, tired like I've never been before, couldn't get to go upstairs where the bedrooms were. There was a horrible feeling of a void so big and permanent it made me numb as it struck me with all its force.

I was not going to be alone. I had my parents. But I wouldn't have someone to wake up in the nights for a mid-night snack, or to have idle chitchat with, someone who I could share a wardrobe with, someone who apart from me would leave an annoying mess in my bedroom, who I could snuggle next to when reminded of a scary ghost story (*embarrassed*), whose opinion was always asked for when confronted with the decisions of attire, food, outings, makeup, shoes etc. So in a way, a major way, I was going to be alone, much more than I realised.

I realize now how big a part my sister played in my life. Twenty three years of living together and one day she decides to get married and leave- I claimed to be the happiest with this development during our fights, when the sentimental sister phase (which are VERY rare) I'd bawl like a baby. But nothing prepared me for what I'd feel when the truth of it actually hit, when I was sitting in the living room of my house alone, too distraught to go to our rooms upstairs which were (much to the distress of my mom) left as they had been the previous day, the day before the wedding, when we had one last crazy night with friends and the bride-to-be.

I had to learn to live without my sister. Sounds simple, I bet most of you'll might even find it amusing or ridiculous. I wish I could too. It isn't like we didn't have our share of fights, some of them really ugly, there were times when we hated each other vehemently, there were times when we both wished, in the heat of the moment, we could be the only daughter, but these couldn't last long enough to change how we really feel. I love my sister, warts and all, and that's all there is to it. (I might deny this and give a very sophisticated and calm lecture, in my true style, when I'm mad at her again).

So here I was, with a heavy heart, a messy bedroom and my sisters entire wardrobe as mine (Yay?).

To be continued...


Picture: Scribbled on my S-memo and uploaded via Lightbox.

The Count of Mounte Cristo- A Review

The Count of Monte Cristo

Having read Alexander Dumas’ The Three Musketeers as a kid and absolutely loving it, it didn’t take long for me to pick up a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, to escape into a world of adventure and heroism, tragedy and treasure, utter despair and vengeance, unfailing gratitude and generosity, of lost love and disguises, of fate and hope and more…

Dumas’ hero, Edmond Dantès is at the threshold of a perfect life. He is about to become the captain of a ship, engaged to a beautiful woman, Mercédès, the love of his life. He is admired by almost everyone who knows him. This perfect life, however, stirs up dangerous jealousy among some of Dantès’s so-called friends who
wrong him hence causing him to lose everything that he held dear. His one innocent act of delivering a letter, the contents of which are unknown to him, and the plotting of his enemies against him land him in a dungeon where he is to spend the rest of his days, till life itself betrays him. Thus thrown into such formidable conditions, he must face his fate alone with his wits, courage and an immense fortune put in his path he begins his journey to seek justice against those whose greed and evil ways cost him everything he ever had and so nearly made him lose his sanity and life.

From Edmond Dantès to the various faces that emerge as the story unfolds the reader gets to ride along with the sheer audacity of the Count, the unshakeable belief of the priest in a Just God, the generosity of the English Lord to the deserving, and the mysterious ways of Sindbad the Sailor.

In a single word: Enthralling.

What’s new?

I’ve always been big on procrastinating. Each time getting more adept at it and somehow the guilt quotient seems to be on a decline; works for me. So here we are almost a month into 2011 and I’m wondering what is so different apart from the date, the year, what has changed? The monotony of my days suddenly seems to hit me in the face, what’s frightening is that I’ve become quite comfortable in it.

Yes I have a very big and grand to-do list, all the glorious things I’ve always wanted to do, but somehow these things always have remained in the corner of my handbook, on my study table. They just lay there, never forgotten but never put into action. And the list keeps growing, as does my interest in the varied activities. Today I found 5 such lists I’d made for the last couple of months and when I sat to tick off the things imagine my shock to see the same 1st list with a few additional to-do’s from 1 to 5!! Why didn’t I go for those painting classes I’ve always wanted to? Why didn’t I go learn the art of pottery that has always been on my mind from the time I had seen a documentary on TV showing a woman molding clay into the most beautiful urn ever! And so on… Damn I did not see this coming. Ranting is good, but also I think I had enough, my sincere efforts this year would be to let procrastination be for things I DON’T wish to do, but for things I’ve dreamed of, there’s no putting them off anymore. To-do lists are bad, just plain useless. I’ve decided to have a list that reads ‘things accomplished’ list. So much more better, serves as a reminding slap on the face when ever you look at it and see how short it is than the ‘ever-growing-warming-my-table-to-do’ list. To write, to travel, to do all those things I’ve always wanted to, to stop existing and start living my life, for myself, that’s what 2011 will be for me. *fingers crossed*

Can You Keep a Secret?

Long ago I’d spent almost an entire year reading just the English Classics, from the Brontë sisters to Jane Austen, from Alexander Dumas to William Shakespeare, from W.Somerset Maugham to O.Henry, J.D Salinger, George Elliot etc(one year, 365 days, has to be a long list!) I was craving for a change from it and I happened to come across Can You Keep a Secret by Sophie Kinsella. After a year of spending time in the countryside of England, in the stately manors where the only entertainment for the young was dancing at the balls, playing on the pianoforte et all, I was in for a refreshing change. I love the classics mind you, but then a genuinely funny, light read novel was the need of the hour and this book fit the bill.

The story starts off with Emma Corrigan (the heroine), on a plane ride back home from a disastrous meeting, blurting out her most embarrassing secrets to the stranger sitting next to her. This due to a turbulence in the plane causing great panic which leads her to think there’s going to be a crash and she’s going to die. Safe landing, a very much alive Emma Corrigan and a very amused stranger (who wouldn’t be when you tell them all about your…).

But to her surprise she finds that the very stranger is the CEO of the company she works in as a Junior Marketing Assistant! The fun begins when she also finds out that he remembers every single secret of hers! What follows is their many funny/awkward encounters, Emma Corrigan’s place in her family, her snob of a cousin Kerry, her office crisis (boss who won’t give a raise, colleague who treats her like another paperweight on her table etc), and her ‘perfect’ boyfriend Connor.

This story might be just another addition to the style of chick-lit fiction but I found it quite entertaining, probably since this was the first of Sophie Kinsella’s that I read. Yes it has a dash of the fairy-tale element to it but hey who says fairytales are only for kids?! The part where we read her deepest secrets is the best because it suddenly dawns on us that even though they’re plain silly we too have a number of such secrets which we would NEVER share with another soul although they are very very petty and insignificant. Oh and not to forget, the happy ending! I enjoyed it much more than the rest of Kinsella’s books, for after reading the entire Shopoholic series and the rest of her books I found a repetitive pattern in them and the same formula was being used which got a bit tiring to read.

This book is a light, funny, quirky and enjoyable read that will make you feel all warm and fuzzy. For all those who think age does not necessarily shatter the illusions(illusions with a probability of turning into reality maybe!) that you endeared as a child, and it doesn’t stop you from enjoying a pleasant read, Can You Keep a Secret will prove to be just that.

It’s been more than two years since I first read this book, but even now when I feel like reading without troubling my grey cells I almost always pick this book again.

Happy reading!

When we two parted

When we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted,
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this

The dew of the morning
Sank chill on my brow
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met
In silence I grieve
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

~Lord Byron.





Four years back one day en route to some place I don’t remember I see this sign board that said ‘A1 book store- for all book lovers’. I step in and find a huge hall filled with books, old and new, mostly old. Every inch was covered, they reached the roof of that place and so I had a very good feeling about it. It was my treasure trove! After spending nearly 3 hours in that place I had with me 15 books I wanted to take back home. One among them was an old copy of a collection of poems by Lord Byron, Keats and P.B.Shelly. (For some reason I love the smell and feel of an old book) I found in that book this amazing work of Lord Byron, I instantly fell in love with. This poem was the first of Lord Byron’s work that I read, and one of his best. This one undoubtedly makes it to my list.

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The in-between we spell L-I-F-E

With nothing interesting to do I was reading up random quotes, poems, articles etc., when I noticed one common point of contention. Life. Life and everything related. And the most common question that every thinking soul ponders upon at some point almost always is “What is the purpose of all this?” Other similar questions “Where are we going?”, “What is our purpose here?”, “What have we come to exist for?”, “What IS the ulterior motive…?”. I turn to my family and friends with the same questions, first they dismiss me and my silly talks as always, but then when I insist on knowing they give me the answer which doesn’t quite answer the question… “You’ll find out, eventually, that’s what we’re here for”. Ok, you’re as clueless as the rest of the world!



For the most part we tend to take no notice and ignore such insights; be oblivious to it and go on with our normal daily lives, no matter how tedious and monotonous this wont gets, being irrational about the place we’re headed to, smothering what we want to do to make place and time for something we HAVE to do. It maybe our sub-conscious self telling us that the likelihood of the universe conceding to out innermost wishes is few and far between, so isn’t it wise to move ahead and reach for that which we yearn and crave for as opposed to the many frivolous and petty affairs and pursuits? Here’s a thought, honestly I think the perseverance we’re endowed with is all for the wrong reasons, to meet misguided ends! Isn’t it unbecoming of us to think eminently of ourselves as the most supreme creation? Why do we assume such self-importance among all other things? We have a certain exaggerated opinion about ourselves that makes us bathe in vanity and self-conceit.


Wonder why we ignore the fact that we will, come hell or high seas, cease to be! There might be a why and a wherefore for our being and the one who solves this paramount, most substantial mystery becomes omniscient…all knowing! I have a metaphor quite apt for the whole purpose of life…a well, an indestructible unfading well. The purpose of life is exactly like a well. We know it exists, that fact is established. Yes, at the end of our journey there will be the answer as to the purpose of it all. The question to actually think about is whether the well is brimming with water or just dried up, whether we have lived all this while to find that there is some relevance to it OR to find that there is in fact nothing to it!.. So there is a purpose, the findings differ. So in the end we might just find out that life genuinely has no meaning, and mankind serves no end. There is a possibility that life is insignificant and death without consequence, it may be immaterial whether or not we live.


I’m reminded of what Somerset Maugham had once mentioned, that ‘..why can it not be that man, no more significant than other forms of life, had come not as the climax of creation but as a physical reaction to the environment?’


And so I think I shall give this question of the purport of life a rest, wait till I get to the well to find it either empty or full, but in the due course have my mind open with wonder for the possibilities of all things is so high and great. All we can do is not be insufferable insolent know-it-all’s when it comes to this, let each one figure it out for themselves and most importantly accept that all things considered we’re part of a very stupendous and immeasurable universe, a very modest, ineffectual and trifling part.


Peace…

Monday Movie Marathon!! ♥

A Monday like no other indeed! With a mug of coffee and Sleepless in Seattle!!! And oh did I mention I absolutely LOVE romantic comedies!.. One place, no, the only other place apart from books where you always find happy endings and the best guys ever… I’m not the romantic kind, oh no I’d end up having a fit of laughter if reality was anywhere close, but movies I don’t mind, I totally love them!...Melodrama looks good as long as you know it’s made up. Hypocrisy? No, it is knowing what is and what will never be.

Whatever my views on the emotional sensitivities of the world in general, I totally love to watch it on screen or read about it in books, and genuinely like them even. There are a couple of movies that I’d watch over a million times and never once feel I’ve had enough (Ok maybe not a million but you get the idea). Oh no not the overdose of emotions with unnecessary weeping, unrealistic events, over the top icky romance, no that’s downright pathetic. Those are just plain dumb, exaggerated a little too much for normal sensibilities to live with.

Easy going movies with the perfect ending…♥

I love the idea of a lone heart with just a cat for company finding herself in the middle of a big adorable and loving family, a fiancé she always had a crush on and eventually finding the Mr. Right one Christmas (While You Were Sleeping).

How a single day, even if nothing seems to go right, can turn out to be the best ever (One Fine Day).

Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are always so good together, be it in ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ or ‘You’ve Got Mail’.

And the Classics! Witnessing Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet putting aside their pride and realize they’ve found in each other what they’ve always been looking for (Pride and Prejudice). When the proud Miss. Emma Woodhouse realizes that her heart, which she had been sure would never love, is no longer in her power, and her fate in this matter is now uncertain due to her own misdoings; the dangers of misconstrued romance! And then to see Mr. Knightley fix it all is a delight (Emma). The stately manors, the lush grounds, the carriages, the balls…the feel of 19^th century England…who’d think any different?!

A good start to my week surely, Monday morning blues? SO not for me!

No Tacit Temper

Warning: The author was at the time cranky, irritated, frustrated, depressed, angry, exasperated, affronted..in an indescribable mood. For better effect of the post imagine the author in the most animated form with arms flying all over, eyes popping, eyes rolling, draaaaaaaaaagggging accent at the mossssssttttt feeling words. Also appreciate the author’s herculean efforts to remain civil throughout the post, something that is a formidable task given the state of mind.

AARGGGHHH!!!!... Sometimes.. no scratch that.. Almost always things go awfully wrong and one such incident plunges you into an abyss of such melancholy it’s more vexing than depressing really! Like the vacuum sucking out all the light of the place.

What is really annoying is that the very undesirable bad luck waits lurking in the dark for that one moment when you absolutely need no miracle or a great stroke of luck for things to go smooth and make them work. Smooth running, no glitches, job done. But NOOOOooooo…. Bad luck comes and comes with a force that knocks the day lights off you. Casting its shadows on every turn, a curse upon the happening and there goes the simplest of things that COULD’VE been. And the result? A restless, agitated, frustrated mind! When nothing goes your way, when every attempt of yours comes right back to the ground, and it seems like the universe is conspiring AGAINST you as opposed to doing it for you, nothing else seems to be making sense either!.. You’re thrown into a world on confusion and a restlessness that keeps dragging you back into those murky waters you’d rather stay clear of. Like you’re running amok with the “Target me” sign around your neck, with a bulls eye mark and so the continual bombarding. And this is how I find myself at this very moment. How many times have we shouted out at the sky with the question “WHY ME?”, “WHY THIS?”, “WHYYYYYYYYYY?” .. Ok maybe not everyone is as dramatic but I certainly have. And find myself doing that yet again. :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

WHYYYYYYYY?? :-( Can you not give me a rest? Can you not find a rock to torture?!!!!!Can I not have one single thing go smoothly without any struggles and so much of head-breaking/nerve-wrecking/maddening complications that have me on the brink of insanity? Well apparently no. That’s all the answer I get and a very subtle ‘get on with it kid’. OK SO BE IT!... HMPH!... I may not win but I will definitely put up an undeniably good fight that will make things considerably difficult for the universe to ruin it for me! HA! There you go!.. *deep breaths* *calming down process* Ok I cannot do it, I need yummy food, bye!

P.S. I had to delete all the unnecessary exclamation marks, a direct consequence of my mood!!!!!!!! Poor keyboard of mine..

Like!Join!Comment!

I'm no psychiatrist so I cannot possibly unravel the mystery and answer the question as to why we’re so hooked onto Facebook. Why every face is glued to it, why without it the day feels incomplete, we feel restless and we fear the world would end *eyes wide in horror*, oh yes who needs 2012 for that. But its true!

So we all want to stay connected, want to catch up with long lost friends, want an easy and convenient way of letting them know what’s going on, but FB has taken it a whole notch different. Apart from being a brilliant site there are a lot of things about it that irritate the life out of a sane person. To list a few…

1. We have people spending hours together taking care of their ‘farms’, making a living in ‘yoville’, taking care of their ‘pets’, feeding them on time, harvesting crops, buying tractors, waiting tables at their ‘cafes’, playing ‘uno’ to ‘cricket’ to warring with others donning the avatar of a mafia or a socialite or a vampire, there’s a whole range of choices you’ve got. So we turn into farmers/chefs/event managers/socialites/mafia don/werewolves/zombies/vampires/treasure seekers/completely jobless morons.

Till a certain point it’s actually fun, then bearable, but jeez people seriously get a life!

2. Another highly irritating thing about FB wannabe’s is God-save-my-ear kind of screams, the shouts for attention.

So you took a quiz that says you were a princess and you publish it with the awwww’s and the hearts and you actually have people commenting on it! Sweetheart, you need help..So you took a quiz that says today your ‘lifebox’ gave you a ring.. do you even HAVE a guy?... So you took a million quizzes that say you’re caring, loving, true friend, will save a puppy from the villains(get the picture?) and you publish one, then the other, then the next, for which you keep commenting and liking. Seriously you need help if defend yourself saying the results of such quizzes make you feel good and happy..WHAT ARE YOU.. 4?

3. And another pain.. ‘LIKE’… Again with the FB wannabe’s, you think liking gazillions of pages would make you interesting? Sorry to burst your bubble but you will remain the same, just that your profile will be a total mess… Right from ‘The sky is blue’, to ‘you suck’ to ‘we’re jobless’ to ‘dude can you like get a life’ you go and click that teeny like button on every darn page you can set your eyes on saying 'ooohhh I feel this way too', 'ooohhh I do this too' or 'oooohhh I would want to like this' or 'ooooohhh I wish I could do this but wth I’ll just go ahead and like it cze heyyyy it’s easy'.. One could write an entire novel out of just the pages some people like! One thing I’ve never really understood is why on earth do people go ahead and ‘like’ their own status msgs?! Or any of their posts or pics?? Dude, if you hadn’t liked them you wouldn’t have posted them, we get it!!

4. Also, STOP COPYING!.. That’s just so lame! Do you even read faking news? NO! But when one person likes it, next thing you know you have a dozen other friends liking it as well!... It’s fine if you read it and genuinely like it, but in the ‘faking news’ case out of personal experience I can tell that there a lot of people out there who’d like just about ANYTHING!  The ‘Ooh she /he liked it must be good/cool/happening let me like it too’ will NOT make you cool and happening you poor babies!

Like I said, till a certain point it’s fun, and then you MOVE ON! Not continue being addicted! Give those silly quizzes a rest and let them be, leave them for the time you are bored to death and have absolutely nothing to do! And WHAT IS the deal with the death calculator!?!?! :O Don’t even get me started on the Lifebox! Right now I just happened to get a request for something called the ‘Fire God Mountain’! Helloooo!!!

Among this set of rubbish is are some very few decent applications, social interview for one, and a few more like it..the games are pretty alright till a whole bunch of friends keep pestering you to ‘help them raise their barn’, or ‘gift them a dish’ or ‘do whatever it is that you’re bugged to death for’. Then is the time you ask them all to simple grow up!

I wonder how many people actually care or know or make an attempt to know about the zillion awareness groups they join…Join join join…like like like… If that was a real wall I’d bang their head on it!

Play all you want, looks like you’ve got a lot of time on your hands to spend, but when that box appears that asks you if you want to publish it or skip, do us all a favour and SKIP!.. We’re the ones with the messy homepages cze FYI we’re NOT interested if you’re a butterfly or a stinky bat, if you were Cinderella or Cruella or if your bridal dress is made out of leaves or if you’re going to die listening to Himesh Reshamiya (Although if you do listen to him you probably deserve it).

So grow up, get a life, get out, play some real games, get some real adventures, do some real shopping, take care of some real plants and trees, adopt a real dog, give a real hug to a friend,  enjoy the site and DO NOT take it to the extremes that would drive others up the wall!.. NO not the FB wall!!...

Dopey soapy ruckus.

A piece of news that was being followed religiously, much more than the incomprehensibly twisted daily-soaps, much more than the serious issue of the Indians facing a death sentence in the Middle East, a real life pukka Bollywood style story that managed to retain the top spot and hold the undying interest of a billion people even when over 70 members of the Central Reserve Police Force were massacred by the Maoists in Chhatisgarh and more importantly shifting the entire country’s focus from the ongoing IPL to this highly entertaining affair, please note that  stealing IPL’s thunder is no joke! What was everyone hooked onto the last couple of days was not a human greatness-earth saving- discovery, nor any breakthrough in hunting down aliens (like living beings on earth weren’t enough), no it wasn’t anything to do with Daulat-ki-beti Mayawati either!  A simple issue of marriage, yup just that. The blunders of youth, rash decisions, making statements, contradicting them, contradicting the contradictions earlier made, sheer stupidity, constant obstinate denials et all. Such drama!! Lord have mercy!

So Shoiab Malik decided to get married and then denied ever doing such a thing, addressing his wife as ‘elder-sister’ once, ‘aunt’ another time, all for his LOVE Sania Mirza to whom he is scheduled to get married this 15th.  If the wife Ayesha Siddiqui is to be believed he wanted to do away with her because of her weight. Hmmm as silly as it may sound it is plausible, totally believable. This followed by a very foolish thing to do was Mr.Mindless Malik denying the fact completely. And thence started the accusations and allegations from both the sides, “he married my daughter” , “this is a cheap publicity stunt”, “he’s a liar, I have all evidences”, “Sania will be my first wife”, “I have been cheated”, “I have been cheated”, both claiming they are the victims.

Drama at its best! The bride to be appearing on her balcony along with the tainted groom to be, the atmosphere appearing tense.  As the nation waited impatiently for any further development, people even betting on the outcome, the very evening you see all across the news channels  both Mindless Malik and Stupefied Sania waltzing (I think that was what they were trying to do in any case) romantically in her house, ‘preparing for the wedding’. What a disappointment to all those who seemed to have a dislike for the Paki they thought was undeserving of a wife as Sania (NO COMMENTS! REALLY!).

What followed was evident, a case was filed against Mindless Malik by the Siddiquis, one of the sections (498A) being a non-bailable offence. T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!!!! Passport seized! Paki govt. coming into the picture pledging their support to their citizen (why a nation has to interfere with a marital issue is beyond me, also that he was the same citizen who was snubbed by the country is a thing of the past apparently). Now Mindless Malik claims he did marry a girl (thank heavens he admits it was a GIRL) but not the one who is claiming to be his wife. Another twist! She isn’t the girl whose pictures were sent to him and he got married over the phone!! This just keeps getting more entertaining or what!! And so in reply to this, the Siddiquis produce pictures of the “WIFE” and Malik together. Yada yada blaah blaah and more BLAAH! Phew…  With the high profile wedding of an Indian tennis sensation (????), with all the efforts of denial hitting back making Malik sort of a dartboard, with legal difficulties and a probable visit to the Indian Jail which didn’t seem to be a good place to go for one’s honeymoon, Mindless Malik has done the first ever sensible thing. Admit every allegation made, and sign the divorce papers, something that was all the Siddiqui’s were asking in the first place.

What were you thinking all this while Moronic Malik???!!!! That they wanted you to be sent to a one man expedition to the Bermuda Triangle???

And so the case is withdrawn, the wedding is to take place as per schedule.

What a shocker to all those who have been hoping to get so much more from this highly enthralling drama. Really??? We don’t get to see the full-on aggressive Sania with a slightly deranged look about her declaring her undying love and support to the guy she has stood by amidst all his lies? Don’t we get to see Ayesha whacking Malik on the face (using her full power to do so mind you!) and hurling at him the foulest, filthiest abuses ever? Don’t we get to see Malik struggling to form a simple sentence and take eons to try making it intelligible?

Well turns out we don’t. If the sneaking rat had solved the issue with a little more maturity and sensibility this would have never come about and he still could’ve faced the masses with some traces of dignity. But apparently he needed a baap of all controversies, allegations, accusations, evidences, and a fiancé better articulate than him (not considering the fake accent), a legal suit , an inviting jail cell, and constant media glare and a gazillion hate mails, all this and much more to come to his senses.

So now the country can go back to its normal routine. Wives back to their daily soaps, everyone else back to cribbing about the Summer heat, bookies concentrating on IPL et all, you get the picture.

:P